next week's gonna be a flurry of activities and results. excitement's going to keep me through the 130-odd pages in need to accomplish by tonight. took 6 hours to do 100 pages. help! tonight's gonna be a bad, bad night~

feeling really awkward about something because sometimes when you take a person out of a situation and observe that person in another situation, you start to see the shine and glamour tarnishing. but i also realise how much more sparkly and glittery another person really is.

weekdays, i can't wait to get out of stifling hall. weekends, i can't wait to get back to hall cos i can't study at 'home' / typically spend an entire day running errands. two more months. and we can finally move back home. it's gonna get real busy and chaotic. moving again! second time into a year! but this time, it's to our new old house - a 12 year-old structure with brand new make up and clothes, a young old lady refreshed in the latest styles. I'm going home in two months!!! (:

that's what i'm getting for my room. except the chandelier's less elaborate, and the mattress not so high and with large crystals stuck on the dents of the bed headboard. hehe so exciting. hopefully my bedroom will turn out okay cos i can spend days laying in bed lawl.

 
yesterday, i was being the world's grumpiest bitch. couldn't stop scolding the boy over the smallest things because i was annoyed with ..the whole world i guess. everything ticked me off, even him not knowing how to spell someone's name. so we were studying at the canteen, i was talking non-stop about curly fries. and he was like "we go buy after studying ok", i was like "but i don't like eating and walking". later on, he visited the toilet and came back with (drumrolls)  curly fries for me! hehe i giggled the first time that day. how like that, my dad and boyfriend both spoil me @_@ what a change from a year ago when i essentially cried my heart out non-stop for months mm.

and it gets me irritated to no end when people whine about having a lot to do (after you helped them out), think all you do is to talk about them (no, you're not that important), jump to conclusions, make you feel bad for trying to study, and my unbelievable envy i see lit dorm rooms at 12 midnight )': i'm having cramps so i guess it's just pms week haha.

guess who went to the hairdresser and left with more hair on the salon floor then on her head? heh i'm such a hairless fat freak now ): that's me floating on the sides of lousy quality webcam pictures in a failed attempt to show how little hair i have left. it's like a few cm below my shoulders? don't you guys love how everyone look gorgeous in webcam photos cos the quality's so grainy? xD anyway WIW last week: never realised how fat i looked in the outfit. it's a lovely outfit. just too bad, i'm miss chunky thighs yuck. but my green leather jacket is love hehe. it gets increasingly buttery soft with each wear.

if you're looking to own a piece of vintage Balmain, i know where you can get a great piece for less than $50. did you know that the original designer of the House of Balmain (the very same fashion house with US$10,000 jackets), Pierre Balmain, is the designer of the Singapore Girl's sarong kebaya? ok this might be old news to some. but wow :0

what a nice change to the end of the terrible week i had. thank you, i'll be your torchlight too (:

it's like the start of 2010 marked the end of happiness and things spiraled downwards. everyday, i get disappointed/distressed/depressed/disheartened at least once. and it's the little surprises that pop up that reminds me to be glad that the glass still at least has some milk. the little dream i harbored for two weeks burst - and it sucks to know what if i had chosen to have chased it, i probably would have attained it. it really sucks cos i rarely fantasize and hope anymore and when i finally did.. hopefully good news will come along in less than a month. maybe then i'll find it in me to be happy about making the wrong choice.

I got to drive alone today! first time ever! me! in the main road! in the car all alone! in the midst of pretty heavy traffic! in my dad's car! I was more nervous about getting it banged up than anything happening to me! though i only drove like 5 minutes (haha!). but it's a start! and i don't think i make a safe driver alone! cos i drive like a maniac alone! (okay, the irritating exclamation marks shall stop now!) - my parents refuse to buy me a car cos they think i'm a safety hazard. I secretly agree hehe.

在你一味地倾诉、控诉说别人如何对不起你之前, 何不想想这一切可能是你自己造成的因而后果呢? 到底是全世界对不起你，还是你呐喊着冤屈时非常顺手地忘了 ..你咎由自取? 无中生有的哭天动地的感觉非常爽吧?

I wish i was better at expressing myself in chinese - there is so many annoyance in me, only to be left to simmer in my head. I can't even explain my feelings clearly here, because if i did, i'll be stooping down to xxxx. and i'm angry because denouncing people in such a manner is apparently acceptable and approved of. nice.

 gonna disappear from the world for a while. sorry if i don't reply to things for a bit. I really have no energy left. it's yet another one of those times when i think everyone's life would be much better if i died. and i'm not even being pessimistic. to sum up my life in two succinct words: it sucks.

it's our fourth anniversary today! well technically, we've only been together for 9 months and 9 days (you know what happened if you've been reading this journal for the past one year). here's to 730 days of hantoe. I love you bb!